reframing failure and negative thoughts
So... the NYC Half was more than a week ago... and boy oh boy, was it an amazing experience. And I'm serious about that. The weekend was amazing. The course was incredible. But I did not PR and that kinda stunk.
I want to have a post dedicated to the fabulous events of the weekend (meeting incredible runners and friends of The Running Lifestyle, the beautiful course, etc), but first I want to talk about the less-than-exciting truth: I ran a 1:34.58.
Ya see, running slower than I wanted made me upset. And I def had a hot-second of feeling upset with myself. Honestly, my first reaction was one of serious self-hatred. I could not help by say to myself (repeatedly), "You're lazy, out of shape and you're slow." And that is not true. But I had a lot of moments where I really felt that way.
But do you see what my brain did there? It jumped to a really mean comment. And I hear clients say things like this ALL. THE. TIME. "I'm fat," "I hate my thighs," "I look awful."
Hold up. I need us all to pause. When is the last time I stopped my friend and I said, "Hey!! You're lazy, out of shape and slow." When is the last time I called my mom and said, "Oh, excuse me, you look awful."
Um, never. I would never say anything so mean to my friends or family. Because I love them, I cherish them, and I care for them.
Guys, we need to be kinder to ourselves. We need to use kind words, or, hell, neutral words.
CROSS OUT THAT MEANIE WEENIE COMMENT. And replace it. Replace it with something nice or replace it with something neutral.
So, sure, maybe you don't love your thighs. But you can say, "My thighs carry me on my runs."That's a neutral statement. AND ITS TRUE. Can we take a hot sec and recognize how cool your body is that it literally HOLDS you together and carries you through life.
Okay, if that doesn't wow you, can you at least throw yourself a nice complment after that neutral statement? "My thighs carry me on my runs." And "I freakin' kicked butt at that meeting today."
So, sure, I don't love that 1:34.58, but here I am. Here I am saying, "I have excellent endurance right now." And its true. Maybe I didn't feel fast that day, but damn did I feel like I could run forever. And so that's what I'm dwelling on - that sure I'm not as fast as I once was, but dang I'm in good shape!
ANYWAY, this is a hard thing to share. It stinks to not achieve your goals (in any capacity), but I know from experience that dwelling on the negative only creates guilt and anger. And guilt and anger lead to destructive behaviors. And guess what, homefry, I ain't got timmmeeee for self-destruction. I have miles to run, lives to change, and lots of delicious food to eat.
Did you run the NYC Half? Are you training for any races?? Be sure to sign up for my FREE upcoming webinar on running nutrition.