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reframing failure and negative thoughts




So... the NYC Half was more than a week ago... and boy oh boy, was it an amazing experience. And I'm serious about that. The weekend was amazing. The course was incredible. But I did not PR and that kinda stunk.


I want to have a post dedicated to the fabulous events of the weekend (meeting incredible runners and friends of The Running Lifestyle, the beautiful course, etc), but first I want to talk about the less-than-exciting truth: I ran a 1:34.58.


Ya see, running slower than I wanted made me upset. And I def had a hot-second of feeling upset with myself. Honestly, my first reaction was one of serious self-hatred. I could not help by say to myself (repeatedly), "You're lazy, out of shape and you're slow." And that is not true. But I had a lot of moments where I really felt that way.


But do you see what my brain did there? It jumped to a really mean comment. And I hear clients say things like this ALL. THE. TIME. "I'm fat," "I hate my thighs," "I look awful."


Hold up. I need us all to pause. When is the last time I stopped my friend and I said, "Hey!! You're lazy, out of shape and slow." When is the last time I called my mom and said, "Oh, excuse me, you look awful."


Um, never. I would never say anything so mean to my friends or family. Because I love them, I cherish them, and I care for them.


Guys, we need to be kinder to ourselves. We need to use kind words, or, hell, neutral words.


CROSS OUT THAT MEANIE WEENIE COMMENT. And replace it. Replace it with something nice or replace it with something neutral.


So, sure, maybe you don't love your thighs. But you can say, "My thighs carry me on my runs."That's a neutral statement. AND ITS TRUE. Can we take a hot sec and recognize how cool your body is that it literally HOLDS you together and carries you through life.


Okay, if that doesn't wow you, can you at least throw yourself a nice complment after that neutral statement? "My thighs carry me on my runs." And "I freakin' kicked butt at that meeting today."


So, sure, I don't love that 1:34.58, but here I am. Here I am saying, "I have excellent endurance right now." And its true. Maybe I didn't feel fast that day, but damn did I feel like I could run forever. And so that's what I'm dwelling on - that sure I'm not as fast as I once was, but dang I'm in good shape!


ANYWAY, this is a hard thing to share. It stinks to not achieve your goals (in any capacity), but I know from experience that dwelling on the negative only creates guilt and anger. And guilt and anger lead to destructive behaviors. And guess what, homefry, I ain't got timmmeeee for self-destruction. I have miles to run, lives to change, and lots of delicious food to eat.


Did you run the NYC Half? Are you training for any races?? Be sure to sign up for my FREE upcoming webinar on running nutrition.

4 Comments


Serena Marie RD
Serena Marie RD
Apr 01, 2019

@spons10 thank you!!! My PR is 1:29.05! I’ve run 1:30ish a few times since I ran my PR in 2015 but haven’t managed to run the 1:29s since then! It will be a hard one to beat :)

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spons10
spons10
Apr 01, 2019

It's seriously a great time. What exactly is the PR time you're chasing?

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Serena Marie RD
Serena Marie RD
Mar 31, 2019

Hey @themcwilliams, thank you so much for responding!!! I so agree with you. I almost didn't share the time, but i had a lot of people asking that day, so figured I would share it to show I'm proud of what happened out there -- the race was FANTASTIC and I had a blast celebrating after. Thank you so much for your kind words... and you're 100% accurate point!

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themcwilliams
Mar 28, 2019

Hi, great post, we're so good at putting ourselves down. From another point of view, turning your negativity about your lack of PR upside down - you RAN 13.1miles in just 1:34:58, that's amazing.. Many people will read this post and only dream of such times. It would currently take me over 2hrs to run that distance. So yes maybe you didn't get the PR, but wow you're strong, you're fit and you said you had a great time...why even focus on the time?...would your weekend have been changed that much if you had shaved 10 seconds/1 minute off your PR - really? Well done - you did great!

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